Where can I get one?
OK, so some old internet jokes just never grow old. Kind of related to my prior CSI-bitching, those shows are so guilty of a lot of this stuff.
- You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
- Movie characters never make typing mistakes, even though what they type often doesn't show up on the monitor.
- Advanced computers have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
- Error messages make sense.
- Computers beep randomly between keystrokes, when Enter is pressed, or when the screen changes.
- Some computers slow down the output on the screen, so it doesn't go faster than can be read.
- Really advanced computers produce the sound of a dot-matrix printer as characters scroll horizontally across the display.
And then the CSI-specific ones.
- No matter how esoteric their requirements are, somebody has always designed a program to complete the task.
- Further, unlike in science where the utility is a small buggy program built in some obscure language, on CSI, they're bug-free, fast, and have imaculate user interfaces.
- You can zoom in or out of a graphic image with no loss or change of resolution and detail (or in the case of CSI, the computer has an "enhance" function).
 I have nothing but the utmost respect for all the helpful people who have written such programs that have helped me with my work. However, very frequently it takes a good long time to re-format my data, and get the hang of the obscure switches for little things which invariably run in DOS, if at all.